I wish I could tell you my story. I wish I could make you understand without making you look at me like everyone does. I wish I could explain it to you, and make you realize how hard it is. I wish that I could tell you how it feels to be me I wish that everything that I’ve ever had happened could be told without having you look at me like I need therapy like everything that happened has changed who I am because I mean it has it has changed it will always be there, something that will be in the back of my mind every time I do something but it makes me stronger as a person. I just want a normal life I just want people to look at me and see someone who’s not afraid to let you know if I want sometheing. someone who is not afraid to say they don’t like something. someone who can ask for things without crying. I want to have a normal life I want to be able to sit there and have a conversation without every little thing triggering feelings from my past. I want, I just want to be norma.l I wish people understood how hard it is for me to pretend to be normal, and its hard because people look at me like I’m the weird girl who goofs around and talks all the time, because the silence is killing me and every time I’m not talking I’m thinking about things that happened thinking about how I am only here because he didn’t kill me, because I happen to be in the right place at the wrong time because everything that happened to me hurts me every single day of my life. everything I do is clouded.